Reasons Why I Can’t Finish My Novels

I am a novelist.  I work on romantic drama, romantic comedy, romantic action or anything with romantic story in it.  I used to do it in tagalog, simply because I’m not a good story teller in english. :)

Anyway, here are the reasons why I can’t finish my novels.  Yes, novelSSSSS, ‘coz I’ve got PLENTY!

1. No inspiration

Seriously.  I really need one.  After watching gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun, I started collecting other people’s experience and trying to retell their story.  I’m also trying to base some of my characters to a real person… unfortunately as of now… I can’t.  Haha!

2. Super limited time

As in.  Every time I get my inspiration, my work (before it was school) schedule tends to be hectic.  I don’t know if my work can smell creativity on my novels.

3. Overloading ideas

There was a time when I got so excited on transferring my old novel (one of the lucky novels to be completed) to wattpad, at the same time, I was so inspired to continue my other novel… also… new ideas pushed me to make a new story.  So in the end, I wasn’t able to do anything ‘coz I don’t know what to give up.

4. No readers

I know I’m no pro when it comes to storytelling.  But that’s one of my passion… to tell stories through writing.  I’m no talkative girl whom you’d get to know my life story by just sitting beside me.  Apparently, not all of my close friends know much about me.  That’s why I put it on a novel.  Since I can’t finish much of my novels, I end up making the readers stop at a cliffhanger.  Eventually, when I’ve written the next part, they’re already not interested.  So please, bear with me… I need readers to be inspired.

5. Laziness

So here are some of my novels….

1. A Stroll with Her

Just a short story… actually I’m just planning to merge this with my other novel.

2. Ang Puting Dwende Ko

Supposedly I’m planning to make this DMnT’s prequel… but I wasn’t able to finalized the plot yet.

3. Black Hawk

An ongoing novel!  Unfortunately, I got new ideas for a new novel, so I got stuck on Chapter 3.

4. Dalawang Mundo ng Tao

One of the COMPLETED novels of mine.  The first version was just the plot.  The second one’s when I texted and sent it as a message to my classmate in college.  The third version is on my notebook.  The forth version can be read on wattpad.  I haven’t finished typing the whole story, but I’m almost done!

5. Dekadang Pangako

Supposedly this should be the last novel of my “untitled” series including Ang Puting Dwende Ko, Dalawang Mundo ng Tao, Getting Them Back Together and Shadow.  But I’m still working on the plot since it’s a time travel novel, so I really need to aligned the events.

6. Faking Lies

A short story based on my dream… and then I forgot what it’s all about… so I don’t know what to do with it.

7. Getting Them Back Together

My story.  Shhh… haha!  Most of the thoughts written here were really the things that I have before.  The past experience of the protagonist girl came from mine.  So basically, it’s really my life story.  Haha!  But the ending’s not the same, ‘coz I haven’t found mine yet.  So I just invented her happily ever after.

8. Ghostly Wedding

Ideas just poured over after watching the taiwanese horror comedy ghost boys.  Basically, this novel is about two best friends meeting two unlikely ghost.  It’s an ongoing novel.  But I find it hard to complete since I’m typing Dalawang Mundo ng Tao and making Black Hawk.  So I’m really having a hard time right now.  On the other hand, I’m also having rush projects on my work right now, so I’m going home late, tired, and when ideas comes over, I just tend to sleep with them.

9. Kalatas

I planned on merging this with Dekadang Pangako.

10. Niverna

My version of Narnia.  Haha!  It’s a trilogy based on my dream.  The first book is The Well of Truth and Fantasy.  The second one is Double Bladed Dragon, and the third would be… I forgot.  Haha!

11.  Papel Gunting Bato

I forgot how I started this novel, but I’m still working on the plot for this one, ‘coz I’m having a conflict of constraining the whole novel on a period of 2 years… I guess

12. Project 24

This novel is complete.  And it’s in english.  But I’m not good in english… so it’s kinda off to read.  But I really hope you can understand me.  Haha!  I posted it on tumblr.  Unlike Dalawang Mundo ng Tao with 30 chapters, Project 24 is exactly 24 chapters only.  Somehow, I made this one before the showing of Hunger Games.  Rest assured that I didn’t read the book.

13. Shì

Another completed novel.  I changed the title to Shì: Lupain ng mga Koute.  Don’t hesitate to read it ‘coz it’s just 8 chapters!  It’s on wattpad.

14. Silver Tulip

I got stuck on chapter 4.  It’s english.  I find it hard to continue ‘coz it’s a long story.  It’s about sea adventure.  The plot is not detailed yet, but that’s the funny thing about making an adventure novel… you just happen to write it down whenever you feel like it.

15. Ano na ba Kasi?

It’s a oneshot story, it’s on wattpad about a girl having the chance to change something about her past.

16. She Existed Obliviously

This story came to me when I was walking home, and a very cute and handsome guy was walking in front of me.  Hehe.  Anyway, it’s just a short story, so go read it on wattpad.  It’s written in english.  And somehow, I think it’s a letter written to someone who will not be able to read it.

17. Shadow

I’m planning to change the title of this novel… and I’m having doubts of continuing this ‘coz it’s just like Black Hawk… just a little bit different.  But I really need to make this one to make sense on Dekadang Pangako.

I’ve got plenty more in my cabinet, but most of them are untitled… and I’m too lazy to get up from here and check the titles of the other novels.  haha!

So, wish me luck!!!  I just really want to finish one of my major novels.

Requested Topic: Ba’t Wala Ka pang Boyfriend

Apparently, whenever I feel bored these days, I try to ask my friends for any random topic that I could use for my blog.  And this anonymous person asks why I still don’t have a boyfriend… with matching smiley face.

Requested Topic


Well, for people out there who would like to request for another topic, please just leave it here – I don’t bite, click here.

So, let’s start.

Ba’t wala pa rin akong boyfriend.  Una sa lahat, NBSB po ang babaeng ito.

Noong nag-aaral pa kasi ako, may agreement kami ng lolo ko at ng ninong ko, na bawal muna ang boyfriend hangga’t nag-aaral.  Since sila ang nagpapaaral sa’kin noon, sinunod ko.  Actually, even before they paid for my college tuition fee, high school pa lang ako, hinihiritan na nila akong ‘wag munang mag-bo-boyfriend.  Though hindi naman namin napag-uusapan yun nila mama, obviously, istrikto sila, pero since wala namang problema sa’kin yung gano’ng set-up, kaya sinunod ko na rin.

Kasooooooooooo, noong 4th year high school, muntik ko nang i-break yung promise na ‘yon for one guy that I loved so much, to the point of neglecting my studies.  ‘Cause it’s true, love is blind.  At karamahin (hindi ‘man lahat) nagiging tanga sa pag-ibig.  Kamuntik-muntik ko nang sagutin yung lokong ‘yon, but I resisted.  Kasi nga, I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my family.  Kaso eventually, akala nilang LAHAT, nagka-boyfriend ako, nawalan sila ng tiwala, maski aminin ‘man nila o hindi, ramdam mo naman ‘yon, na nawalan talaga sila ng tiwala.  Kahit na hindi ko naman talaga sinagot yung guy.  At hanggang ngayon, yung iba sa mga family members namin, (mother side) naririnig ko pa ring kumakantsaw ng may secret boyfriend daw ako.  Nakakatamad nang i-defend yung sarili ko.  Tumatawa na lang ako ng malakas sabay sabi ng, “buti pa s’ya alam n’ya, ako nga hindi.”  Kasi kung magkaka-boyfriend ‘man ako, ba’t ko naman itatago ‘di ba?  I want it legal!

Anyway, ayun na nga, nagkandaloko-loko noon, tapos heartbreak kahit na hindi naging kami, kasi s’yempre, mahal mo yung tao, kaso badtrip, ang gulo, s’ya lang masaya, ayun, pinatigil ko na kahit gusto ko pa rin s’ya, kasi alam kong mali na.  ‘Di rin n’ya ako hinabol, badtrip.  So ayun, may trust issues tuloy ako ngayon.

Apparently, sabi ng guy best friend ko, hindi daw ako makamove on, ang tagal na kasi, more than 5 years na.  Kasi naman, ako yung naghahabol para maging okay kami, kasi ayoko yung may dinadala akong galit, so every now and then nakikipag-ayos ako (friendly terms), kaso nababadtrip lang ako tuwing kausap ko s’ya.  So it took me about 4 years ata bago maging okay.  Kaso recently, nalaman ko sa kanyang ‘di pala n’ya talaga ako hinabol nung nagtago ako, so nabadtrip uli ako.  Though sabi ko sa kanya nakapag-move on na’ko.  Hayy buhay, ‘yaan mo na, wala na rin naman akong mapapala dun e.  Haha!  Anyway, ayun, so siguro isa rin sa mga dahilan is kasi hindi pa daw ako nakakamove on.  About moving on… you can just read my previous blog, “Moving On” para ma-gets n’yo yung perspective ko about that.

So, sigurado may magtatanong, bawal ka pala magboyfriend nung nag-aaral ka pa, e graduate ka naman na ngayon, ba’t wala pa rin?  E kasi po, puro confessions lang naman ang nangyari noong college, wala namang nag-attempt manligaw, so hanggang ngayon wala pa ring nanliligaw, hahaha.  Tapos puro babae naman yung malapit sa age ko na kasama ko parati sa office.  At the same time, though naging kaopisina ko rin ngayon yung kaklase ko nung college, hindi na s’ya counted.

Ano pa?  Uhh… kasi wala akong social life noon, puro tawanan lang within the 4 corners of the classroom, kapag may group meeting, puro school related.  ‘Di naman ako malakwatsa noon.  So ngayong graduate na’ko, I try to mingle with my friends, go on meet-ups basta hindi inuman.  Sorry, pero hindi n’yo talaga ako maaaya sa mga inuman.

Ayy, may naalala pa nga pala ako, haha!  Ang dami ko kasing pimples noon.  Hindi ko alam kung related yun sa pwede kong isagot sa tanong.  Haha!  Kasi may pimples din naman ako noong 4th year high school, tapos dalawa yung nanligaw sakin.  Haha.  Tapos ngayong wala na’kong pimples, wala na ring manliligaw.  HAHAHAHA! chos lang.

Tsaka, may nagsabi rin sa’kin noon, na tingin daw ng iba is masyadong mataas yung standards ko.  Nakakatawa kasi hindi naman nila ako kinikilala bago nila sabihin yun.  Nakakatawa pa, minsan may manliligaw na, magkaklase kayo noon, tapos hindi naman kayo close, tapos biglang sasabihin na nanliligaw s’ya.  Ang laging pumapasok sa isip ko kapag gano’n, ba’t ka ba nanliligaw?  ‘Di ba dapat kasi para magkagusto ako sa’yo?  Hindi yung nanliligaw ka para ligawan din yung sarili mong magkagusto sa’kin, in short, nanliligaw ka para makilala ako kasi hindi mo talaga ako kilala.  Parang weird lang, actually, weird nga.  Kasi naman, manliligaw ka kasi mahal mo ang isang tao, hindi naman kasi gusto mo s’yang makilala, at kapag “ayy, hindi ko pala s’ya type” i-di-ditch mo na lang s’ya.  Para sa’kin ‘di ba dapat kinikilala mo muna bago ka manligaw?  May mga ganyan kasi, sorry.

Anyway, back to my standards… ganito lang naman ‘yan, may trust issues nga kasi ako, so definitely, you have to prove na seryoso ka.  Tapos ganito lang naman ang tanong ko…

1.) Nag-aaral pa?

If yes, syempre anong year, baka ang bata mo sa’kin, my gulay, patay tayo n’yan. pero kung malapit sa age ko, good luck sa studies mo~ :)

If no, proceed to number 2.

2.) Graduate na ng college?

If yes, proceed to number 3.

If no, proceed to number 4.

3.) May trabaho na?

If yes, sige, good luck sa’yo.

If none, proceed to number 5.

4.) May pinag-aaral?

If yes, sige, magpakabusy ka muna sa pinag-aaral mo.

If none, proceed to number 5.

5.) Nag-iipon ng pang-aral sa sarili?

If yes, sige, good luck muna sa pag-iipon mo, mag-aral kang mabuti ah!

If no, proceed to number 6.

6.) E anong ginagawa mo?  Tambay?  Anong kahihinatnan natin n’yan?  Sarili mo nga hindi mo maasikaso e.


Reasonable naman ‘yung mga tanong ko ‘di ba?  Tapos meron d’yan makulit pa ring magsasabi na ang hirap abutin ng standards mo, e kung hindi mo talaga makuha yung logic ng mga tanong ko, edi bahala ka, haha, wala namang pumipilit sa’yo.  Nahiya naman ako, ikaw na nga ang inisip ko baka may kailangan ka pang asikasuhing iba, ikaw pa galit, hahaha, bahala ka na sa buhay mo.  Haha!

Anyway, sabi nila mataray daw ako, isa pa sigurong dahilan yun.  Aminado naman ako doon, sa mga hindi ko kakilala talaga =)) defense mechanism ko na ata ‘yon, lalo pa maliit lang ako, ayokong binu-bully ako ng mga bwisit na tao, haha, kaya ayun.  Chos.  Anyway, ang dami ko nang nasabi, ang pinakadahilan lang naman kasi talaga is… wala pa kasing nanliligaw uli at the moment.  Parang nagdala ka ng laptop sa isang outing, tapos tinanong ka nila ba’t ‘di ka mag-charge, e kasi nalimutan mo yung charger kaya hindi mo ‘yun magawa.  Ayaw ko naman manghiram ng charger, utang na loob, ayoko ng 2nd choice, ayoko rin ng mang-aagaw mode.  Haha!

Ang haba na ng nasabi ko, puro wala namang katuturan, haha!  So sana nasagot ko nang maayos ang tanong mo anonymous person.  Congrats dahil ginanahan kang magbasa hanggang dito sa huli.  Haha!

Moving On

In every heartbreak that we encounter, our friends would always be there, not just to cheer us up, but to always remind us to move on.  But actually, moving on is not really applicable to everyone.

Moving on is a big obstacle that we have to overcome after a heartbreak, especially if it’s your first one.  What I’m trying to say is… days, months, years or even a decade can’t heal a broken heart… not always.  Accepting that he won’t come back, or he will never chase after you, might be the only choice you have to get back on your feet and start a new life.

In some cases, you might want to lighten up your load and tell yourselves that you’ve already moved on.   But the truth is, you haven’t, really.  ‘Cause every time you see his face on the side bar of your facebook account, your heart aches.  And all you ever wanted to do is to tell him that you still love him, but damn him, he won’t come back to you ’cause he never loved you the way you loved him.  Life is unfair, even in love sometimes.

But you can’t just time him that, ’cause what kind of bastard is he?  He doesn’t deserve your love!  Wake up!  Yeah, I’m wide awake, but I still want to do that… ’cause love is blind.  And the more you do careless stuffs, the more it hurts.  But there’s actually no difference if you can control yourself like I can… ’cause it still hurts.  Well, love hurts anyway.

So what do you do to overcome that heartache and move on?  Don’t ask me, I don’t have the answer on that… ’cause if I do, I would’ve done it five years ago.  Well, the only thing that I can say is… moving on is not really applicable to everyone.  Sometimes, you just learn to love somebody else more than how you’ve love the other guy before.  You just learn to love yourself more than the way you’ve loved that stupid guy before.  Forgiveness if pretty hard to find if that guy really murdered your heart before.  And still have the guts to say that he has already moved on, way before you would.  And doesn’t want to chase after you because of some bullshit ideas he has on his empty brain.  You don’t deserve someone like him, and you know that, but the heart doesn’t have a mind, it just beats.  So don’t blame yourselves if you’ve got a pretty bad decision making.  You just have to learn to control yourself.  Keep your heart decision within you, and act the way your brain tells you to do.  Sometimes our brain cannot stop our heart, but that’s fine, a little mistake in life won’t be that bad… sometimes.  You just have to learn from your mistakes and stop, please stop!! doing them.

And hopefully, after a few hopeful thoughts, the knight in shining armor might find his way through our hearts.  Maybe his horse just ran away, or he was trapped on a heavy traffic, or he forgot to refill his gas, or *insert random reason here*.  It’s pretty boring to wait for a long time, ’cause if you are… you’re probably looking at the end of the road, but he’s actually right there in front of you, just waiting for you to recognize him.  Well, good luck, and hope our hearts would finally succeed on finding the right one. :)

Guy Best Friend

Since wala akong maisip na blog entry at the moment, kaso gusto ko talaga mag-blog, sabi ng best friend ko, magdedicate na lang daw ako ng isang entry para sa kanya. So here we go~ hahaha!! (I doubt it kung mahanap mo ‘to, if ever, congrats :D haha)

Note: Magpatugtog ka nga ng medyo nakakaiyak na songs, para naman kahit medyo comedy ‘tong entry na ‘to, madrama naman yung background music mo. haha!


Ang pangalan po ng aking guy best friend ay Bon Jovi, yah, yung singer. HAHA! de joke. pero seryoso, yun nga yung pangalan n’ya.  Tapos kapag kinukwento ko s’ya sa mga kaklase ko, ang tawag nila sa kanya “gift” hahaha! Kasi Regala yung apelyido. HAHAHA!

Okay, let’s start, haha! Nakilala ko ‘tong lokong ‘to noong first year high school.  Magkaklase kami, at the same time, seatmates sila nung isa sa mga girl best friends ko.  Tapos uso noon ang araw-araw unli para katext mo yung mga kaklase mong hindi mo talaga ka-close sa room.  Apparently, isa s’ya sa mga katext ko noon, pero hindi pa kami ganoon ka-close.  Basta alam ko lang, kapag lumalapit ako sa upuan nung best friend kong babae dahil malapit sa upuan n’ya yung crush ko, haha, nandoon din s’ya, tapos nakiki-asar.

Naging kaklase ko na lang s’ya ulit noong 4th year hs na.  Doon, naging ka-close ko s’ya, as in literal.  Though hindi na ata n’ya maalala, haha! So hindi ko na rin babanggitin. Haha! Anyway, ayun, so ka-close ko nga s’ya, tapos pinagselosan s’ya noong kasabay ko umuwi, hanggang sa umamin ‘yon, tapos may aminang nangyari, and so on.  Kaso bwisit yon, ‘di ko masabihan ng problema kasi nagagalit s’ya kapag umiiyak ako, though alam ko namang partly kasalanan ko, pero errr, ako na yung umiyak s’ya pa galit? Haha! Anyway, ayun, kaya naghanap ako ng pwedeng mapagkwentuhan na iba, isa si Bon sa mga nahagilap ko.  And I’m very much grateful for that.  Though pinagselosan uli kasi s’ya so ewan ko na.  haha!  On the process ako ng paglimot ng mga nangyari noon e, haha!  Anyway, haha! Graduate na kami, at broken hearted ako, as in, badtrip.

Tapos nanaginip ako.  May reunion daw kami ng mga hs friends ko, specifically yung mga kaklase ko noong 4th year. Tapos nakita ko yung mga ka-close ko, nag-hi sila.  Then nakita ko yung bwisit kong aljsdfklaksjdlfjasjf, tapos badtrip, ‘di n’ya ko pinansin, as in!!! Sobrang, wth?!  Tapos bigla kong nakita si Bon, niyakap n’ya ko.  Nagulat ko, pero iba yung pakiramdam, ang init, parang hindi ako nananaginip, pero dahil sa ginawa n’ya, imbis na mag-breakdown ako, kumalma yung pakiramdam ko.

At dahil doon, sinubukan ko s’yang itext.  Magkaibang school na kami noong college, tapos walang communication.  Triny ko lang, baka magreply. Nalimutan ko na kung anong tinext ko, nag-hi lang ata ako.  Tapos walang sumagot.  Maya-maya nagulat ako, may nag-text, ibang number!!  Yun pala nakitext s’ya!  Hahaha!  Nahiya daw kasi s’yang hindi magreply kaya nakitext s’ya.  At simula noon, nakakausap ko na s’ya uli.  Nakakatawa kasi kung kailan hindi na kami magkaklase, saka kami naging close. And take note! Hindi pa kami mag-best friend ng mga panahong ito. Hahaha!

Sa sobrang saya ko dahil sa iilan lang talaga yung mga hs friends ko na nakakausap ko pa hanggang ngayon, at nakakapag-meet-up pa rin, nakukwento ko s’ya sa mga kaklase ko noong college.  Tapos nang-aasar sila, to the point na kapag katext ko s’ya, sila pa yung nangunguha ng cellphone ko para magrereply sila ng something sweet. Hahaha!! Tapos sasabihin ko rin naman sa kanya na hindi ako yung nagtext no’n, kasi ayokong maging sinungaling sa kanya, haha!  Kaso the funny part is, uulitin ko rin naman yung pinagsasabi ng mga kaklase ko.  HAHAHA!

Noong minsan, broken hearted s’ya, tapos di ko nasagot yung tawag n’ya kasi may klase ako.  Tapos nagalit s’ya.  E nabadtrip ako kasi ba’t s’ya magagalit, kasalanan ko ba? Haha!  So ang nangyari s’ya yung nag-sorry.  Akala ko FO (Friendship Over) na kami noon e, buti hindi.

Minsan nag-o-overload yung sweetness namin sa isa’t isa.  Tapos biglang hindi na kami mag-uusap uli ng mga isa o dalawang buwan.  Hahaha! Na noon hindi ako sanay, ngayon sanay na sanay na.  Hahaha!  Kaya kapag nakakausap ko s’ya uli, miss na miss ko s’ya.  Parang yung dalawang best friend ko lang na babae.  Sobrang bihira ko lang makausap, tapos thrice a year ko lang makita, so sobrang miss na miss namin ang isa’t isa, hihi. Ewan ko lang dito kay Bon kung na-miss n’ya ko. Hahaha!

Clingy din s’ya, ‘di ko lang alam kung alam n’yang alam ko na gano’n s’ya. Haha! Sabi ko sa kanya, maliban sa family, dalawa lang silang guy na clingy ako, isa yung kabarkada ko, at s’ya yung isa pa.  Kaso ayaw n’yang maniwala.  Haha!

May nakausap akong friend n’ya, tapos nang-aasar, tinanong pa ‘ko kung crush ko daw ba si guy best friend.  Kaso ‘di ko nasagot, hahaha! Tinawanan ko lang ata.  Mga chicks kasi ang type n’yan e.  Haha!  Tsaka alam ko tinanong ko na dati kung anong mga type n’ya, ni isa ata hindi ako pumasok sa qualifications n’ya.  HAHAHA!  Besides, nagagalit din s’ya sa’kin kasi daw ‘di ako maka-move on sa past heartache ko.  Haha, sorry naman po.  Malay ko ba kasing may malalaman akong bago? HAHAHA! Pero I’m still thankful kasi nand’yan ka para sa’kin.  Minsan nakakalimutan ko na ngang lalaki ka, kasi minsan yung mga kinukwento ko lang sa dalawang best friend kong babae, nakukwento ko na rin sa’yo.  Haha!  Pati yung mga biglaang gwapo na makikita ko binabalita ko pa sa’yo.  haha! Na supposedly, sa girls ko lang dapat kinukwento.  Ewan ko kung naiinis ka na.  Pero kung naiinis ka na, sabihin mo lang.  Hahaha!

‘Di ko na rin maalala ano yung exact date kung kailan kami naging magbest friend.  Ang alam ko lang, after ko nang grumaduate ‘yon.  Feeling ko this April lang ata?  Basta mga gano’n.  Haha!  Biro mo, after 9 years nating magkakilala, saka pa lang kita naging best friend?  Medyo ang slow natin ano. Haha!  Pero masaya rin palang magkaroon ng guy best friend. May instant ka-date kahit na hindi talaga s’ya marunong mag-aya ng date sa’kin, ewan ko lang sa mga girlalu n’ya noon, haha!

So ngayon, nurse na s’ya, at ako, sinisikap na maging arkitekto, at kahit na once in a blue moon na lang s’ya magpa-load, buti na lang, unlicall sa globe yung landline nila, isang text ko lang, tatawag na s’ya.  HAHA! At mabuti na rin lang madalas din s’yang online ngayon, at nakaka-usap ko s’yang madalas.  Though minsan nakakaloka, kasi minsan nakatitig lang ako sa pangalan n’ya sa side bar, ‘di kasi s’ya nag-p-pm.  Tapos ako gusto ko s’yang kausapin, kaso wala akong maisip na topic. hahaha!  Minsan kinakalabasan, puro kalokohan lang napag-uusapan namin, pero masaya.  Nakakatawa pa kasi minsan mag-e-emote ako, maiinis ako kunwari, kaso walang nanunuyo kaloka!  hahaha! e ako naman, alam kong wa epek na, edi kakausapin ko na, tapos wala na, tawanan na lang uli, kaloka.  Masisiraan ako ng bait sa isang ‘to, haha!

Dearest best friend, thank you for everything.  Alam kong tapos na ang birthday mo, at ang korni ng last date natin kasi hindi ako makapagdecide ng pwedeng gawin after kumain, tapos kung kailan na-excite ka na ng husto sa paglalaro sa timezone, saka naman ubos na yung load natin.  Hahaha! Post-birthday gift ko na lang ‘to sa’yo, isang blog entry para sa pinakamamahal kong best friend na may sayad sa utak. hahaha!!! Alam kong dapat busy ka ngayon sa dami ng gastusin mo at dapat gawin in preparation for your career, pero nagagawa mo pa ring makipaglokohan sa’kin, haha! So thank you very much!  ‘Wag ka mag-alala, sa birthday ko, ililibre na talaga kita, haha!  Kasi sa lahat ng dates natin, ikaw lagi nanlilibre, haha!  Good luck sa career mo, God bless!  Balitaan mo ‘ko sa mangyayari sa buhay mo ah!!! Marami akong load pang-text sa globe, text mo lang ako, o kaya pm mo lang ako sa fb.  Haha! o kaya tawagan mo na lang ako, basta wala akong meeting, masasagot kita. Ayan na ah! Ginawan na kita ng blog entry! hahaha!! Hindi naman kita pinagtripan! hahaha! nagkwento lang naman ako :D

College na Ako, Ano na?

College life please, challenges, depression whatsoever and how did you cope?  –

Apparently, someone asked this on my, so I’m here to help.

When I was in elementary, I used to tell myself,

Kahit saan ako mag-high school okay lang.

Tapos nag-exam ako sa Manila Science High School… kaso hindi ako pumasa. aldkfjask;ldjflasjfdkajfaksjfdlaj!!! Ang sakit sa loob badtrip! buti na lang may automatic admission. Hilig ko na talagang magdrawing noong bata, si papa kasi magaling sa ganyan.  Paborito ko rin ang math.  Pagdating ko ng high school, mas na-inspire ako mag-drawing, kasi may drafting class kami.  Tapos sobrang saya ko kasi mga lalaki yung nag-e-excel sa subject na ‘to… plus ako. haha!

So noong kukuha na ako ng entrance exam, sabi ko, civil eng ang kukunin ko.  I want to build my own house.  Pero hanggang ngayon, hindi ko maintindihan bakit ARCHITECTURE ang sinulat kong first choice.  At wala kang makikitang engineering sa kahit anong application ko.  Gusto ko ring maging interior designer.  Nag-apply ako sa UP, UST, at PLM.  tapos since libre ang application sa La Salle, nag-apply na rin ako.

Nakakatawa, kasi pumasa ako sa lahat, maliban sa dream school ko… UP.  Next choice kasi namin is UST, kaso mahal doon.  Hindi namin kaya. Kaya sabi sa akin mag-accounting na lang ako, kahit papano afford namin yon.  Miraculously, dininig ng Panginoon ang tadhana ko.  One night, nagpunta yung ninong ko sa amin, saying na sasagutin na nila ng lolo ko yung tuition fee ko, makapag-arki lang ako.  Hagulgol to the max ako noong araw na ‘yon, tears of joy!

Heto na! College na ako, ano na?

First of all, mga bata, ibang iba na ang college sa high school.  ‘Yan ang itatak n’yo sa kukote n’yo.  Dahil seryoso ako.

Since hindi nga UST ang first choice ko dahil hindi namin afford, obviously, pera ang isa sa mga naging problema ko noon.  Grabe, sandamakmak ang rich kids sa UST.  Ang daming conyo (apparently nakakahawa po sila, sorry), may mga hindi rin marunong magtagalog.  Tapos ang alam lang nilang kainan noon ay mga fast food or resto. Don’t worry!  Don’t panic!! Be honest! Sabihin mo sa kanila kapag hindi mo afford yung kakainan n’yo. Kung kukutyain ka nila, better leave them.  Hindi sila worth na maging kaibigan. Dude, be practical!  ‘Wag mong ipagpilitan yung sarili mo sa taong hindi ka naman mapapabuti. #HugotMode

Chill ka lang, marami ka pang kaklase! Hindi lang sila! May mga tao d’yan na kahit mayaman, sa karinderya kumakain, kasi mura na, sulit pa!  Mas masayang kasama yung mga ganon.  May mga friends din ako noon na hilig manuod ng movie in between breaks na mahahaba. ubos pera. easy ka lang, sabihin mo na lang wala kang pera or mag-aaral ka or may kikitain ka na lang para wala nang tanong. Minsan hindi rin masamang mag-isa, kasi makakahanap ka pa ng ibang sasama sa’yo. #HugotUli

Wait, humahaba na yung sinasabi ko, puro pera lang yung binabanggit ko.  Honestly, mahirap naman kasi talaga mag-aral sa isang school na maraming mayaman at ikaw walang pera.  Pero don’t be pressured! PERA LANG ‘YAN! Maraming prof na akala mo kung sino kasi may pera sila.  Marami kang magiging kaklase na mayabang kasi may pera sila.  Sus, e kung mayaman pala sila, edi pagkakitaan mo!  Noong college ako, lahat ng pwedeng pagkakitaan ginawa ko.  Since mga tamad sila, gumagawa ako noon ng stickers para sa isang subject, tapos binibenta ko.  Nag-loading business din ako, nakakatawa kasi kung sino pa yung may pera, sila pa yung may utang.

Aaminin ko, mahirap din maghanap ng totoong kaibigan.  Most ng mga magiging kaklase mo, gagamitin ka lang, kasi masipag kang gumawa ng assignments, reliable ka sa pagpapaalala ng mga projects, alam mo kung anong room ang next subject n’yo, at mabait ka kasi.  Be careful!  Huwag na huwag mong ibibigay ang lahat ng mayroon ka sa kanila, kasi ‘yung iba, mga walang utang na loob.  Minsan kailangan mong magparinig na,

hayyy wala nanamang nakaka-appreciate sa akin.

Yung mga ganyang drama ba, tapos magugulat ka na lang kasi yung mga taong tinulungan mo, magpaparamdam sa’yo, ico-comfort ka. :) Pero let me remind you, ‘wag palagi!  Kasi ang pagtulong, hindi ka dapat nanghihingi ng kapalit.  Dapat maging masaya ka na sa simpleng thank you.

Alagaan mo rin ang grades mo.  Tip lang, kapag nakapag-DL ka, kahit 1 sem lang, lagay mo sa resume mo, magandang pang-akit ng employers ‘yon. :)  Anyway, ang mga prof kasi, karamihan sa kanila, mga wala na yang pakialam after ka nilang maging estudyante.  For example, may prof ako noon na hindi nirecord yung finals namin. To the point na parang kami pa ang may utang na loob sa kanya kasi supposedly 5 ang grade namin, ginawa na lang n’yang 3 para lang pumasa kami.  Hinabol namin s’ya, nireklamo namin, ipinaglaban namin na hindi namin deserve yung 3.  Kaso wala e, napako ang pangako, nabwisit lang kami sa mga pinagsasabi n’ya sa’min.  Hanggang sa tinubuan na kami ng katamaran dahil alam naming wala ng pag-asang mabago pa yung tres na ‘yon.  Badtrip lang.  Pero kung kaya mo namang ipaglaban ‘yan, edi go ka lang!! Aja! Fight!

Nagkaproblema din ako sa mga kaklase kong puro asa na lang.  Badtrip kasi kung sino pa yung kaclose mo, s’ya pa yung iiwanan ka sa ere.  Ang sarap pumatay grabe.  Kaso kahit gaano ako kadaldal ngayon, introvert pa rin ako. haha! Kasi hindi ko sila ma-confront tungkol doon.  Hanggang sa maramdaman na lang nila, tapos sila na ang magtatanong, pero dahil ka-close ko nga sila, nagbago din sila.  Konting unawaan lang, oks na :)

Syempre hindi rin mawawala ang problema sa love life.  Maraming temtasyon, maraming sira ulo, maraming paramdam lang, at maraming epal.  Just make sure not to give your virginity at this stage.  This is a serious advice.  Kahit gaano mo pa s’ya kamahal, please don’t. At kapag nakarinig ka ng mga ganitong kwento na gusto na nilang ibigay, lalo na kung galing sa kaibigan mo, pigilan mo s’ya!!! Save them! Pero kung nangyari na, utang na loob, ‘wag mo s’yang pandidirihan.  Sabi nga nila, maraming nagiging tanga sa pag-ibig.  Ibang level nga lang yung kanya… pero hindi mo s’ya kailangang i-outcast.

Naniniwala rin akong hindi lang architecture students ang may sleepless nights.  May mga courses din na hindi natutulog… kasi panggabi ang duty, kasi ang daming ipapasa, kasi may exam bukas, kasi wala lang, trip ko lang mag-fb hanggang madaling araw.  Pero don’t worry! Don’t give up!  Kaya mo ‘yan! Kasi after ng pasahan, nand’yan lang si kama, always open for you. :)

At syempre, hinding hindi rin mawawala ang family problems.  Lalo pa, unti-unti mong mararamdaman na nawawala na yung support nila na dati mong natatanggap.  Wake up!  College ka na!  Ilang taon na lang, graduate ka na at magkakatrabaho ka na.  Pero don’t be mad!  Tinuturuan ka lang nilang maging independent.  Para naman kahit papa’no marunong ka nang tumayo sa sarili mong mga paa.  Mahal ka nila, ‘yan ang tatandaan mo.  At utang na loob, HUWAG NA HUWAG KANG MAGPAPAKAMATAY!  Please!  Hindi solusyon ang pagpapakamatay, it’s just an excuse to escape reality.  Hindi ibibigay ang ganyang klaseng problema sa iyo ng Panginoon kung alam N’yang hindi mo kaya.  Patunayang mong KAYA MO!

To make the long story short, just be yourself.  May mga bagay na makakaapekto sa’yo, to the point na magbabago ka for the better or worse.  But make sure to keep your eyes open, and if you think you’re starting to do bad things, or your studies are failing, change!!  Kasi ikaw lang ang makakapagligtas sa sarili mo.  May mga tutulong sa’yo, pero kung dededmahin mo sila, wala rin.  Make sure to be open for suggestions, hindi na uso ang pikon, learn to listen, learn to understand.  And don’t forget to pray to God.  He’ll guide you anytime, anywhere, 24/7.

So good luck… sa’yo na mag-co-college pa lang, sa’yo na college na, at sa’yo na nagbabalak pa kung magpapatuloy pa ng college o hindi.  Susi ang edukasyon sa maraming bagay.  At ‘pag dating ng araw, mauunawaan mo rin kung bakit. :)

Well, sana nakatulong po ako sa’yo anonymous person. Good luck!! :D

P.S. Huwag umasa sa prof, hindi lahat may matututunan ka.  Matutong mag-aral mag-isa. Seryoso ako.

Crying My Heart Out

Dearest people of the universe who’s reading this, I’m sorry for taking up your time, but right now, I just want to cry my heart out… because I JUST WATCHED TRANSCENDENCE! haha! sorry for that.
Well, really, I’m crying right now.
It’s so amazing to see someone who can love you ’till the day they die… and can even love you more on their next “computer” life.

“I have spent my entire life with my projects, now I want to spend the rest with you.” – Dr. Will Caster, talking to Evelyn while preparing for his death.

It’s pretty amazing to know someone could actually fulfill his promise, even after his death.  After knowing that he’s going to die soon, he disposed his ideals and focused on what his wife wants.

“My wife has always been eager to change the world. But I’ll just settle for understanding it first.” – Dr. Will Caster on his presentation speech.

Who doesn’t want to change the world into a better place?  It’s a good perception to help other people, that’s what Evelyn always wanted to do.  And I am pretty much fascinated by how Will simply wants to invent, to discover, to learn.  Maybe that’s why they’re a perfect match, because one invents, and the other one looks for its application.

“Why did you lose faith?” – Dr. Will Caster on Evelyn after she ran away.

Who wouldn’t?!  Since he became a robot, all you could think off is that he’s not Will, he’s just Pinn, disguised as Will.  But as the story grows, you’ll have doubts.  Maybe it’s 50% Will, 50% Pinn.  But at the end, it was really Will, and that’s when I cried a lot.  Because even after his wife doubted him, he remained loyal.  All he ever wanted to do is to fulfill her dreams.  He never wanted to start an apocalypse, he never killed somebody.  Since from the start, up until the end, he never stopped loving Evelyn.

“People are afraid of what they don’t understand.” – Dr. Max Waters on Dr. Will Caster while explaining the deaths of their comrades.

Yes, everyone is.  But Dr. Will… he just accepted that… and continued to invent.  He helped people who willingly came on his doorsteps.  He didn’t reject a single one of them.

The movie’s ending was so painful, up to the point where you still wanted to cry, but you can’t, ’cause their’s too much emotions, too much tears, to many heartaches that you can’t explain in a single sentence.  And I can’t even imagine myself as Dr. Max Waters, because if I do, I wouldn’t be able to live my life remembering that two of my friends died in front of me, just because they were misunderstood.

Well, as a consolation, at least Dr. Will Caster and Evelyn are still together in that garden they love.  

Didn’t get that?  Haha!  Well, good luck! Think! You can do it!  And once you realize what I was talking about, you’ll know what kind of ambivalent emotion I’m having right now. :)

Hands down on the team who created this wonderful movie.  Thanks for making a marvelous film.  And Johnny Depp, thanks for bringing Dr. Will Caster to life. :)