Mahirap Maghanap ng Trabaho. SERIOUSLY.

Hi sa lahat ng sa wakas naka-graduate na at welcome to the unemployed life.  Maswerte yung ibang tao na pinapayagang magbulakbol ng halos isang taon bago maghanap ng trabaho.  Pero sa mga kagaya kong araw-araw pinariringgan “maghanap ka na ng trabaho!” agad-agad pagkatapos ng graduation day… maghanap na kayo ng trabaho.  Haha!  Dahil hindi sila titigil sa pangungulit kung hindi tayo magsisipag magkatrabaho.

So ‘eto tayo, mag-wa-walk-in sa kung saan-saang firms and companies.  May mga mang-i-snob… tipong ang ganda pa ng ngiti sa’yo nung receptionist, tapos hindi ka pala nila co-contact-in.  May iba namang firms na bigla bigla, kaaabot mo lang ng resume, interview na agad!  Tapos yung boss agad yung kausap mo, tapos sasabihan ka pa ng “hindi ako impressed.”  Run for your life!  Kung hindi ka pa ‘man din tanggap ay ganyan na, for sure mas matindi pa kapag empleyado ka na.  If you think na hindi ka magiging masaya d’yan, ‘wag mo nang ituoy.  Save yourself.

Sa sunud-sunod na araw na paglalakwatsa n’yo ng mga kaibigan n’yo… este sa sunud-sunod na araw pala ng pag-ja-job hunt n’yong magbabarkada… heto kayo, nakatunganga pa rin sa bahay.  Kasi walang nag-aaya ng interview.  E ano kung walang nangungulit?  Edi ikaw ang mangulit!  May mga kakilala akong tumatawag pa sa offices para lang i-confirm kung nareceive nila yung resume nila at kung possible bang mabigyan sila ng interview.  Saludo ako sa inyo.

Minsan maswerte ka kung may mag-invite sa’yo ng interview.  Make sure na pupunta ka ng interview na prepared ka!  Magaling kang mambola at mag-english!  ‘Wag n’yo kong gagayahin!  Tipong nagpakaseryoso ako sa thesis ko, hindi ko na na-practice yung english ko, nagmadali akong maghanap ng trabaho, so pagdating ng interview, nag-i-english yung boss, nagtatagalog ako.  Fail.  Pero kung maganda naman ang laman ng resume mo.  Aba, maswerte ka at baka tanggapin ka.  Lalo pa kung stylish ang resume mo… dagdag points!  Kaso pa’no kung kagaya kitang hindi naman tinuruang gumawa ng resume at kinopya ko lang yung lumang resume ng nanay ko?  Ayun, ang plain ng resume ko.  Kaya lang ako natanggap sa 2nd work ko kasi galing ako ng Science High School at kahit papa’no nagawa kong mag-DL sa mga napakapiling semesters ng college life ko.  Maliban d’on… wala na ata akong maipagmamalaki.  Ay!  May isa pa ata… may OJT experience ako.

So hindi porket natanggap ka na sa trabaho ay wala ka nang problema?  Pa’no kung yung boss mo pala ay puno ng galit sa mundo na tipong araw-araw ay ipapahiya ka sa harap ng mga empleyado?  Paano kung ang liit pala ng sweldo mo?  Tipong hindi iyon yung pinag-usapan n’yo sa interview pero halos kalahati lang ang binibigay?  Sabi ko nga kanina… kung hindi ka masaya sa trabaho mo, ‘wag mo nang ituloy.  Pero make sure to consider these first… kaya ka ba aalis kasi mababa ang sweldo?  E baka kasi wala ka pang experience, ‘wag mong isiping ang galing galing mo na at kailangan ka nang mabayaran ng milyon.  Kaya ka ba aalis kasi may mga sira ulo kang kaopisinang hindi mo mapakisamahan?  Kahit saan ka mapunta, may ganyan, trust me.  Kaya ka ba aalis kasi hindi mo makasundo yung boss mo?  Baka yung lilipatan mo ganyan din.  Kaya ka ba aalis kasi magulo yung admin n’yo?  Most talaga magulo, maswerte ka na kung may makakasundo kang terms ng admin.  Pero kung sobrang dami na ng dahilan para umalis ka at halos yung good points mo para mag-stay ay sobrang natabunan na… parang sa pag-ibig lang… ay umalis ka na.  PEROOO!!  Bago ka umalis, maghanap ka muna ng lilipatan!!  Aba, mahirap maghanap ng trabaho!  Kita mo ngang nahirapan ka maghanap noong una e, lalo na ngayong lilipat ka.

Pagdating naman sa paglipat, syempre, bago ka lumipat, magre-resign ka muna sa una mong trabaho.  How to make a resignation letter?  Go ask google.  And please lang, kahit na ano pa man ang dahilan kung bakit ka lilipat, as much as possible magpaalam ka ng maayos.  Kasi malay mo someday ma-meet mo uli yung mga taong tinakasan mo ‘di ba?  Unless tingin mo magreretire na silang lahat at wala nang pag-asa pang magkita kayo, at mukha namang wala silang habol sa’yo dahil wala ka namang kontrata sa kanila at mukha namang wala rin silang pake kung aalis ka at mukha rin namang hindi ka nila sisiraan sa iba dahil wala nga silang pake sa’yo… magpaalam ka pa rin ng maayos.  Haha!  Send your resignation letter.  Kung ayaw mo na silang makaharap, at least send your resignation.

So heto na, nagbabalak ka na ngang lumipat, kaso pa’no?  Or hanggang ngayon wala ka pa ring trabaho… anong gagawin mo?  Hindi lang naman walk-in ang pwede mong gawin para makakuha ng trabaho.  Maghanap ka sa mga jobstreet, or iba pang website na pwedeng mag-offer sa’yo ng mga advertisements ng mga companies.  Kung gusto mo, gamitin mo ‘yung dyaryo n’yong nakatambak sa bahay na ayaw mong basahin.  Marami doon.

Eventually makakahanap ka rin n’yan for sure.  Kung hindi, isa lang ibig sabihin n’ya… hindi ka malas… tamad ka lang talaga.  Or kung masipag ka namang maghanap, itanong mo sa sarili mo, baka naman kulang ka sa diskarte… or kulang pa yung effort na ginagawa mo.  Kasi for sure, hindi ka malas.

Ano naman nang kahaharapin mo kapag eto na, nakalipat ka na?  Sigurado ka bang mas magiging masaya ka dito?  Tingin mo ba mas marami kang matututunan?  O mas matindi sa una?  Apparently, hindi lahat ng expectations mo masusunod.  Minsan akala mo okay ka na… pagkalipas ng apat na buwan… hindi pala.  Nakakalungkot lang isipin na akala mo finally na-meet mo na yung right job for you.  Parang sa pag-ibig… akala mo na-meet mo na si mr. right… yun pala… pinaasa ka lang.  Pero dahil sa naging mabait naman sila sa’yo… at dahil sa gusto mo rin namang magpasalamat sa experiences na natutunan mo… hindi ka rin makaalis agad agad.  So eventually, sobrang heartbreaking nito.  Kasi gusto mo nang makaalis, kaso nahihirapan yung kunsensya mo.  Lalo pa kung iniisip mong mahihirapan din sila kung mawawala ka.  Pero hindi ka na masaya!  Hindi na rin beneficial sa’yo ang magpaka-overworked at underpaid.  Nakakalungkot ding isipin na akala mo talaga magtatagal ka rito na tipong aabutin ka ng napakaraming taon… kaso… hindi rin pala.

Kung ikaw ay yung tipo ng taong nakahanap na ng magandang trabaho… may magandang sweldo… hindi hectic ang working schedule… masayang environment… mabait na boss… at friendly workmates… well… ang swerte mo.  Magpasalamat ka sa D’yos at nagkaroon ka ng ganyang klase ng trabaho.  Dahil ikaw ay nabibilang sa one in a million.

At para naman sa mga katulad kong sawi pagdating sa pag-ibig… ay este sa trabaho pala, haha!  Though hindi naman totally sawi… medyo hindi lang nakuntento sa kung anong mayroon ngayon… hinga na lang tayo ng malalim.  ‘Wag tayong mawawalan ng pag-asa.  Mahahanap din natin ang ating love of our life!  Este yung firm pala na magiging pamilya na natin.  Haha!  ‘Wag tayong makakalimot na magdasal at manghingi ng tulong sa Panginoon… dahil aminin n’yo man o hindi… S’ya lang ang best solution sa lahat ng problema.

So keep smiling everyone!  Don’t lose hope!  Darating din ‘yan.  Hindi ‘man ngayon pero hindi rin tayo dapat tumigil na lang.  Kailangan nating mag-ipon ng experiences para pagdating ng dream job natin… magaling na tayo… at pwede na nila tayong ipagmalaki.

Save Me, Take Me!

I’m tired of doing my best and yet you always get scolded first thing in the morning and before you get home.  This ain’t school anymore.  This is supposed to be doing a good job and getting home with a big smile on your face because you weren’t harassed on the office nor underpaid.

You were a minimum wage earner but then you exert more than the effort you were being paid for.

I remember reading this on facebook…

“We’re looking for someone with the wisdom of a 50-year old, the experience of a 40-year old, the drive of a 30-year old and the pay scale of 20-year old.”

I sure some of the newly grads here can relate to what I’m going to say…

I admit not having a 50-year old wisdom.  ‘Coz I know you can’t read everything on books, you need experience.  And I also admit not having a 40-year old experience.  But damn it!  Don’t expect us to offer you these things!  It’s written all over our resume!  WE’RE-INEXPERIENCED!  Why do you keep on blurting out mad non-sense on our ears instead of imparting learning ideas for us to take your steps and provide you with better service?

We, young people, love to learn to make a brighter future for us.  I’m sure all of us wants to become bosses someday.  That’s why we wanted to learn today.  You won’t see us arguing with you ’cause we thought we’re wrong… and sometimes were are… but sometimes because it wasn’t taught in school and you were expecting us to be good with that… or sometimes because you told us to do plan A awhile ago and then ask us why we didn’t do plan Z.

It’s really frustrating.  You were not even complimented.  You were never told good words to ease your feelings and inspire you to do more.  You were only given sweet talk when they needed you to do a month’s job in one day.

You don’t really have to bother about our drive… we’re still young.  You can convince us to exert more effort on doing our job with a few magical words like “good job!”  Seriously.

A pay scale of a 20-year old… not good.  Seriously… there’s manpower shortage… everyday is a bit of a bad talk… lazy co-workers stab you on your back… you get most of your jobs undone due to lack of time… but you still get most of the work ’cause nobody will do that unless you do… and you still get the “your job attitude is bad and you don’t have the initiative” even though you were very diligent and passionate on your work.  And when you say you’re underpaid, your salary increase always gets blocked.

Sigh…

You might be very lucky to get a pretty nice job with an uplifting work environment… or I’m just very miserable to think that the first ones super hell, and the second one’s I-think-this-is-a-pretty-nice-job-that-can-provide-me-with-good-experience-and-a-work-friendly-environment impression but realize I was taken for granted.

And you can’t rant to friends ’cause they don’t understand and they will just tell you that that’s life and you were just full of complaints.  And you can’t even tell this to your family ’cause you know they’ll get worried.  So damn it, I’ll just rant here on my blog!

Reasons Why I Can’t Finish My Novels

I am a novelist.  I work on romantic drama, romantic comedy, romantic action or anything with romantic story in it.  I used to do it in tagalog, simply because I’m not a good story teller in english. :)

Anyway, here are the reasons why I can’t finish my novels.  Yes, novelSSSSS, ‘coz I’ve got PLENTY!

1. No inspiration

Seriously.  I really need one.  After watching gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun, I started collecting other people’s experience and trying to retell their story.  I’m also trying to base some of my characters to a real person… unfortunately as of now… I can’t.  Haha!

2. Super limited time

As in.  Every time I get my inspiration, my work (before it was school) schedule tends to be hectic.  I don’t know if my work can smell creativity on my novels.

3. Overloading ideas

There was a time when I got so excited on transferring my old novel (one of the lucky novels to be completed) to wattpad, at the same time, I was so inspired to continue my other novel… also… new ideas pushed me to make a new story.  So in the end, I wasn’t able to do anything ‘coz I don’t know what to give up.

4. No readers

I know I’m no pro when it comes to storytelling.  But that’s one of my passion… to tell stories through writing.  I’m no talkative girl whom you’d get to know my life story by just sitting beside me.  Apparently, not all of my close friends know much about me.  That’s why I put it on a novel.  Since I can’t finish much of my novels, I end up making the readers stop at a cliffhanger.  Eventually, when I’ve written the next part, they’re already not interested.  So please, bear with me… I need readers to be inspired.

5. Laziness

So here are some of my novels….

1. A Stroll with Her

Just a short story… actually I’m just planning to merge this with my other novel.

2. Ang Puting Dwende Ko

Supposedly I’m planning to make this DMnT’s prequel… but I wasn’t able to finalized the plot yet.

3. Black Hawk

An ongoing novel!  Unfortunately, I got new ideas for a new novel, so I got stuck on Chapter 3.

4. Dalawang Mundo ng Tao

One of the COMPLETED novels of mine.  The first version was just the plot.  The second one’s when I texted and sent it as a message to my classmate in college.  The third version is on my notebook.  The forth version can be read on wattpad.  I haven’t finished typing the whole story, but I’m almost done!

5. Dekadang Pangako

Supposedly this should be the last novel of my “untitled” series including Ang Puting Dwende Ko, Dalawang Mundo ng Tao, Getting Them Back Together and Shadow.  But I’m still working on the plot since it’s a time travel novel, so I really need to aligned the events.

6. Faking Lies

A short story based on my dream… and then I forgot what it’s all about… so I don’t know what to do with it.

7. Getting Them Back Together

My story.  Shhh… haha!  Most of the thoughts written here were really the things that I have before.  The past experience of the protagonist girl came from mine.  So basically, it’s really my life story.  Haha!  But the ending’s not the same, ‘coz I haven’t found mine yet.  So I just invented her happily ever after.

8. Ghostly Wedding

Ideas just poured over after watching the taiwanese horror comedy ghost boys.  Basically, this novel is about two best friends meeting two unlikely ghost.  It’s an ongoing novel.  But I find it hard to complete since I’m typing Dalawang Mundo ng Tao and making Black Hawk.  So I’m really having a hard time right now.  On the other hand, I’m also having rush projects on my work right now, so I’m going home late, tired, and when ideas comes over, I just tend to sleep with them.

9. Kalatas

I planned on merging this with Dekadang Pangako.

10. Niverna

My version of Narnia.  Haha!  It’s a trilogy based on my dream.  The first book is The Well of Truth and Fantasy.  The second one is Double Bladed Dragon, and the third would be… I forgot.  Haha!

11.  Papel Gunting Bato

I forgot how I started this novel, but I’m still working on the plot for this one, ‘coz I’m having a conflict of constraining the whole novel on a period of 2 years… I guess

12. Project 24

This novel is complete.  And it’s in english.  But I’m not good in english… so it’s kinda off to read.  But I really hope you can understand me.  Haha!  I posted it on tumblr.  Unlike Dalawang Mundo ng Tao with 30 chapters, Project 24 is exactly 24 chapters only.  Somehow, I made this one before the showing of Hunger Games.  Rest assured that I didn’t read the book.

13. Shì

Another completed novel.  I changed the title to Shì: Lupain ng mga Koute.  Don’t hesitate to read it ‘coz it’s just 8 chapters!  It’s on wattpad.

14. Silver Tulip

I got stuck on chapter 4.  It’s english.  I find it hard to continue ‘coz it’s a long story.  It’s about sea adventure.  The plot is not detailed yet, but that’s the funny thing about making an adventure novel… you just happen to write it down whenever you feel like it.

15. Ano na ba Kasi?

It’s a oneshot story, it’s on wattpad about a girl having the chance to change something about her past.

16. She Existed Obliviously

This story came to me when I was walking home, and a very cute and handsome guy was walking in front of me.  Hehe.  Anyway, it’s just a short story, so go read it on wattpad.  It’s written in english.  And somehow, I think it’s a letter written to someone who will not be able to read it.

17. Shadow

I’m planning to change the title of this novel… and I’m having doubts of continuing this ‘coz it’s just like Black Hawk… just a little bit different.  But I really need to make this one to make sense on Dekadang Pangako.

I’ve got plenty more in my cabinet, but most of them are untitled… and I’m too lazy to get up from here and check the titles of the other novels.  haha!

So, wish me luck!!!  I just really want to finish one of my major novels.

Requested Topic: Ba’t Wala Ka pang Boyfriend

Apparently, whenever I feel bored these days, I try to ask my friends for any random topic that I could use for my blog.  And this anonymous person asks why I still don’t have a boyfriend… with matching smiley face.

Requested Topic

 

Well, for people out there who would like to request for another topic, please just leave it here – I don’t bite, click here.

So, let’s start.

Ba’t wala pa rin akong boyfriend.  Una sa lahat, NBSB po ang babaeng ito.

Noong nag-aaral pa kasi ako, may agreement kami ng lolo ko at ng ninong ko, na bawal muna ang boyfriend hangga’t nag-aaral.  Since sila ang nagpapaaral sa’kin noon, sinunod ko.  Actually, even before they paid for my college tuition fee, high school pa lang ako, hinihiritan na nila akong ‘wag munang mag-bo-boyfriend.  Though hindi naman namin napag-uusapan yun nila mama, obviously, istrikto sila, pero since wala namang problema sa’kin yung gano’ng set-up, kaya sinunod ko na rin.

Kasooooooooooo, noong 4th year high school, muntik ko nang i-break yung promise na ‘yon for one guy that I loved so much, to the point of neglecting my studies.  ‘Cause it’s true, love is blind.  At karamahin (hindi ‘man lahat) nagiging tanga sa pag-ibig.  Kamuntik-muntik ko nang sagutin yung lokong ‘yon, but I resisted.  Kasi nga, I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my family.  Kaso eventually, akala nilang LAHAT, nagka-boyfriend ako, nawalan sila ng tiwala, maski aminin ‘man nila o hindi, ramdam mo naman ‘yon, na nawalan talaga sila ng tiwala.  Kahit na hindi ko naman talaga sinagot yung guy.  At hanggang ngayon, yung iba sa mga family members namin, (mother side) naririnig ko pa ring kumakantsaw ng may secret boyfriend daw ako.  Nakakatamad nang i-defend yung sarili ko.  Tumatawa na lang ako ng malakas sabay sabi ng, “buti pa s’ya alam n’ya, ako nga hindi.”  Kasi kung magkaka-boyfriend ‘man ako, ba’t ko naman itatago ‘di ba?  I want it legal!

Anyway, ayun na nga, nagkandaloko-loko noon, tapos heartbreak kahit na hindi naging kami, kasi s’yempre, mahal mo yung tao, kaso badtrip, ang gulo, s’ya lang masaya, ayun, pinatigil ko na kahit gusto ko pa rin s’ya, kasi alam kong mali na.  ‘Di rin n’ya ako hinabol, badtrip.  So ayun, may trust issues tuloy ako ngayon.

Apparently, sabi ng guy best friend ko, hindi daw ako makamove on, ang tagal na kasi, more than 5 years na.  Kasi naman, ako yung naghahabol para maging okay kami, kasi ayoko yung may dinadala akong galit, so every now and then nakikipag-ayos ako (friendly terms), kaso nababadtrip lang ako tuwing kausap ko s’ya.  So it took me about 4 years ata bago maging okay.  Kaso recently, nalaman ko sa kanyang ‘di pala n’ya talaga ako hinabol nung nagtago ako, so nabadtrip uli ako.  Though sabi ko sa kanya nakapag-move on na’ko.  Hayy buhay, ‘yaan mo na, wala na rin naman akong mapapala dun e.  Haha!  Anyway, ayun, so siguro isa rin sa mga dahilan is kasi hindi pa daw ako nakakamove on.  About moving on… you can just read my previous blog, “Moving On” para ma-gets n’yo yung perspective ko about that.

So, sigurado may magtatanong, bawal ka pala magboyfriend nung nag-aaral ka pa, e graduate ka naman na ngayon, ba’t wala pa rin?  E kasi po, puro confessions lang naman ang nangyari noong college, wala namang nag-attempt manligaw, so hanggang ngayon wala pa ring nanliligaw, hahaha.  Tapos puro babae naman yung malapit sa age ko na kasama ko parati sa office.  At the same time, though naging kaopisina ko rin ngayon yung kaklase ko nung college, hindi na s’ya counted.

Ano pa?  Uhh… kasi wala akong social life noon, puro tawanan lang within the 4 corners of the classroom, kapag may group meeting, puro school related.  ‘Di naman ako malakwatsa noon.  So ngayong graduate na’ko, I try to mingle with my friends, go on meet-ups basta hindi inuman.  Sorry, pero hindi n’yo talaga ako maaaya sa mga inuman.

Ayy, may naalala pa nga pala ako, haha!  Ang dami ko kasing pimples noon.  Hindi ko alam kung related yun sa pwede kong isagot sa tanong.  Haha!  Kasi may pimples din naman ako noong 4th year high school, tapos dalawa yung nanligaw sakin.  Haha.  Tapos ngayong wala na’kong pimples, wala na ring manliligaw.  HAHAHAHA! chos lang.

Tsaka, may nagsabi rin sa’kin noon, na tingin daw ng iba is masyadong mataas yung standards ko.  Nakakatawa kasi hindi naman nila ako kinikilala bago nila sabihin yun.  Nakakatawa pa, minsan may manliligaw na, magkaklase kayo noon, tapos hindi naman kayo close, tapos biglang sasabihin na nanliligaw s’ya.  Ang laging pumapasok sa isip ko kapag gano’n, ba’t ka ba nanliligaw?  ‘Di ba dapat kasi para magkagusto ako sa’yo?  Hindi yung nanliligaw ka para ligawan din yung sarili mong magkagusto sa’kin, in short, nanliligaw ka para makilala ako kasi hindi mo talaga ako kilala.  Parang weird lang, actually, weird nga.  Kasi naman, manliligaw ka kasi mahal mo ang isang tao, hindi naman kasi gusto mo s’yang makilala, at kapag “ayy, hindi ko pala s’ya type” i-di-ditch mo na lang s’ya.  Para sa’kin ‘di ba dapat kinikilala mo muna bago ka manligaw?  May mga ganyan kasi, sorry.

Anyway, back to my standards… ganito lang naman ‘yan, may trust issues nga kasi ako, so definitely, you have to prove na seryoso ka.  Tapos ganito lang naman ang tanong ko…

1.) Nag-aaral pa?

If yes, syempre anong year, baka ang bata mo sa’kin, my gulay, patay tayo n’yan. pero kung malapit sa age ko, good luck sa studies mo~ :)

If no, proceed to number 2.

2.) Graduate na ng college?

If yes, proceed to number 3.

If no, proceed to number 4.

3.) May trabaho na?

If yes, sige, good luck sa’yo.

If none, proceed to number 5.

4.) May pinag-aaral?

If yes, sige, magpakabusy ka muna sa pinag-aaral mo.

If none, proceed to number 5.

5.) Nag-iipon ng pang-aral sa sarili?

If yes, sige, good luck muna sa pag-iipon mo, mag-aral kang mabuti ah!

If no, proceed to number 6.

6.) E anong ginagawa mo?  Tambay?  Anong kahihinatnan natin n’yan?  Sarili mo nga hindi mo maasikaso e.

 

Reasonable naman ‘yung mga tanong ko ‘di ba?  Tapos meron d’yan makulit pa ring magsasabi na ang hirap abutin ng standards mo, e kung hindi mo talaga makuha yung logic ng mga tanong ko, edi bahala ka, haha, wala namang pumipilit sa’yo.  Nahiya naman ako, ikaw na nga ang inisip ko baka may kailangan ka pang asikasuhing iba, ikaw pa galit, hahaha, bahala ka na sa buhay mo.  Haha!

Anyway, sabi nila mataray daw ako, isa pa sigurong dahilan yun.  Aminado naman ako doon, sa mga hindi ko kakilala talaga =)) defense mechanism ko na ata ‘yon, lalo pa maliit lang ako, ayokong binu-bully ako ng mga bwisit na tao, haha, kaya ayun.  Chos.  Anyway, ang dami ko nang nasabi, ang pinakadahilan lang naman kasi talaga is… wala pa kasing nanliligaw uli at the moment.  Parang nagdala ka ng laptop sa isang outing, tapos tinanong ka nila ba’t ‘di ka mag-charge, e kasi nalimutan mo yung charger kaya hindi mo ‘yun magawa.  Ayaw ko naman manghiram ng charger, utang na loob, ayoko ng 2nd choice, ayoko rin ng mang-aagaw mode.  Haha!

Ang haba na ng nasabi ko, puro wala namang katuturan, haha!  So sana nasagot ko nang maayos ang tanong mo anonymous person.  Congrats dahil ginanahan kang magbasa hanggang dito sa huli.  Haha!

Moving On

In every heartbreak that we encounter, our friends would always be there, not just to cheer us up, but to always remind us to move on.  But actually, moving on is not really applicable to everyone.

Moving on is a big obstacle that we have to overcome after a heartbreak, especially if it’s your first one.  What I’m trying to say is… days, months, years or even a decade can’t heal a broken heart… not always.  Accepting that he won’t come back, or he will never chase after you, might be the only choice you have to get back on your feet and start a new life.

In some cases, you might want to lighten up your load and tell yourselves that you’ve already moved on.   But the truth is, you haven’t, really.  ‘Cause every time you see his face on the side bar of your facebook account, your heart aches.  And all you ever wanted to do is to tell him that you still love him, but damn him, he won’t come back to you ’cause he never loved you the way you loved him.  Life is unfair, even in love sometimes.

But you can’t just time him that, ’cause what kind of bastard is he?  He doesn’t deserve your love!  Wake up!  Yeah, I’m wide awake, but I still want to do that… ’cause love is blind.  And the more you do careless stuffs, the more it hurts.  But there’s actually no difference if you can control yourself like I can… ’cause it still hurts.  Well, love hurts anyway.

So what do you do to overcome that heartache and move on?  Don’t ask me, I don’t have the answer on that… ’cause if I do, I would’ve done it five years ago.  Well, the only thing that I can say is… moving on is not really applicable to everyone.  Sometimes, you just learn to love somebody else more than how you’ve love the other guy before.  You just learn to love yourself more than the way you’ve loved that stupid guy before.  Forgiveness if pretty hard to find if that guy really murdered your heart before.  And still have the guts to say that he has already moved on, way before you would.  And doesn’t want to chase after you because of some bullshit ideas he has on his empty brain.  You don’t deserve someone like him, and you know that, but the heart doesn’t have a mind, it just beats.  So don’t blame yourselves if you’ve got a pretty bad decision making.  You just have to learn to control yourself.  Keep your heart decision within you, and act the way your brain tells you to do.  Sometimes our brain cannot stop our heart, but that’s fine, a little mistake in life won’t be that bad… sometimes.  You just have to learn from your mistakes and stop, please stop!! doing them.

And hopefully, after a few hopeful thoughts, the knight in shining armor might find his way through our hearts.  Maybe his horse just ran away, or he was trapped on a heavy traffic, or he forgot to refill his gas, or *insert random reason here*.  It’s pretty boring to wait for a long time, ’cause if you are… you’re probably looking at the end of the road, but he’s actually right there in front of you, just waiting for you to recognize him.  Well, good luck, and hope our hearts would finally succeed on finding the right one. :)

Guy Best Friend

Since wala akong maisip na blog entry at the moment, kaso gusto ko talaga mag-blog, sabi ng best friend ko, magdedicate na lang daw ako ng isang entry para sa kanya. So here we go~ hahaha!! (I doubt it kung mahanap mo ‘to, if ever, congrats :D haha)

Note: Magpatugtog ka nga ng medyo nakakaiyak na songs, para naman kahit medyo comedy ‘tong entry na ‘to, madrama naman yung background music mo. haha!

Game!

Ang pangalan po ng aking guy best friend ay Bon Jovi, yah, yung singer. HAHA! de joke. pero seryoso, yun nga yung pangalan n’ya.  Tapos kapag kinukwento ko s’ya sa mga kaklase ko, ang tawag nila sa kanya “gift” hahaha! Kasi Regala yung apelyido. HAHAHA!

Okay, let’s start, haha! Nakilala ko ‘tong lokong ‘to noong first year high school.  Magkaklase kami, at the same time, seatmates sila nung isa sa mga girl best friends ko.  Tapos uso noon ang araw-araw unli para katext mo yung mga kaklase mong hindi mo talaga ka-close sa room.  Apparently, isa s’ya sa mga katext ko noon, pero hindi pa kami ganoon ka-close.  Basta alam ko lang, kapag lumalapit ako sa upuan nung best friend kong babae dahil malapit sa upuan n’ya yung crush ko, haha, nandoon din s’ya, tapos nakiki-asar.

Naging kaklase ko na lang s’ya ulit noong 4th year hs na.  Doon, naging ka-close ko s’ya, as in literal.  Though hindi na ata n’ya maalala, haha! So hindi ko na rin babanggitin. Haha! Anyway, ayun, so ka-close ko nga s’ya, tapos pinagselosan s’ya noong kasabay ko umuwi, hanggang sa umamin ‘yon, tapos may aminang nangyari, and so on.  Kaso bwisit yon, ‘di ko masabihan ng problema kasi nagagalit s’ya kapag umiiyak ako, though alam ko namang partly kasalanan ko, pero errr, ako na yung umiyak s’ya pa galit? Haha! Anyway, ayun, kaya naghanap ako ng pwedeng mapagkwentuhan na iba, isa si Bon sa mga nahagilap ko.  And I’m very much grateful for that.  Though pinagselosan uli kasi s’ya so ewan ko na.  haha!  On the process ako ng paglimot ng mga nangyari noon e, haha!  Anyway, haha! Graduate na kami, at broken hearted ako, as in, badtrip.

Tapos nanaginip ako.  May reunion daw kami ng mga hs friends ko, specifically yung mga kaklase ko noong 4th year. Tapos nakita ko yung mga ka-close ko, nag-hi sila.  Then nakita ko yung bwisit kong aljsdfklaksjdlfjasjf, tapos badtrip, ‘di n’ya ko pinansin, as in!!! Sobrang, wth?!  Tapos bigla kong nakita si Bon, niyakap n’ya ko.  Nagulat ko, pero iba yung pakiramdam, ang init, parang hindi ako nananaginip, pero dahil sa ginawa n’ya, imbis na mag-breakdown ako, kumalma yung pakiramdam ko.

At dahil doon, sinubukan ko s’yang itext.  Magkaibang school na kami noong college, tapos walang communication.  Triny ko lang, baka magreply. Nalimutan ko na kung anong tinext ko, nag-hi lang ata ako.  Tapos walang sumagot.  Maya-maya nagulat ako, may nag-text, ibang number!!  Yun pala nakitext s’ya!  Hahaha!  Nahiya daw kasi s’yang hindi magreply kaya nakitext s’ya.  At simula noon, nakakausap ko na s’ya uli.  Nakakatawa kasi kung kailan hindi na kami magkaklase, saka kami naging close. And take note! Hindi pa kami mag-best friend ng mga panahong ito. Hahaha!

Sa sobrang saya ko dahil sa iilan lang talaga yung mga hs friends ko na nakakausap ko pa hanggang ngayon, at nakakapag-meet-up pa rin, nakukwento ko s’ya sa mga kaklase ko noong college.  Tapos nang-aasar sila, to the point na kapag katext ko s’ya, sila pa yung nangunguha ng cellphone ko para magrereply sila ng something sweet. Hahaha!! Tapos sasabihin ko rin naman sa kanya na hindi ako yung nagtext no’n, kasi ayokong maging sinungaling sa kanya, haha!  Kaso the funny part is, uulitin ko rin naman yung pinagsasabi ng mga kaklase ko.  HAHAHA!

Noong minsan, broken hearted s’ya, tapos di ko nasagot yung tawag n’ya kasi may klase ako.  Tapos nagalit s’ya.  E nabadtrip ako kasi ba’t s’ya magagalit, kasalanan ko ba? Haha!  So ang nangyari s’ya yung nag-sorry.  Akala ko FO (Friendship Over) na kami noon e, buti hindi.

Minsan nag-o-overload yung sweetness namin sa isa’t isa.  Tapos biglang hindi na kami mag-uusap uli ng mga isa o dalawang buwan.  Hahaha! Na noon hindi ako sanay, ngayon sanay na sanay na.  Hahaha!  Kaya kapag nakakausap ko s’ya uli, miss na miss ko s’ya.  Parang yung dalawang best friend ko lang na babae.  Sobrang bihira ko lang makausap, tapos thrice a year ko lang makita, so sobrang miss na miss namin ang isa’t isa, hihi. Ewan ko lang dito kay Bon kung na-miss n’ya ko. Hahaha!

Clingy din s’ya, ‘di ko lang alam kung alam n’yang alam ko na gano’n s’ya. Haha! Sabi ko sa kanya, maliban sa family, dalawa lang silang guy na clingy ako, isa yung kabarkada ko, at s’ya yung isa pa.  Kaso ayaw n’yang maniwala.  Haha!

May nakausap akong friend n’ya, tapos nang-aasar, tinanong pa ‘ko kung crush ko daw ba si guy best friend.  Kaso ‘di ko nasagot, hahaha! Tinawanan ko lang ata.  Mga chicks kasi ang type n’yan e.  Haha!  Tsaka alam ko tinanong ko na dati kung anong mga type n’ya, ni isa ata hindi ako pumasok sa qualifications n’ya.  HAHAHA!  Besides, nagagalit din s’ya sa’kin kasi daw ‘di ako maka-move on sa past heartache ko.  Haha, sorry naman po.  Malay ko ba kasing may malalaman akong bago? HAHAHA! Pero I’m still thankful kasi nand’yan ka para sa’kin.  Minsan nakakalimutan ko na ngang lalaki ka, kasi minsan yung mga kinukwento ko lang sa dalawang best friend kong babae, nakukwento ko na rin sa’yo.  Haha!  Pati yung mga biglaang gwapo na makikita ko binabalita ko pa sa’yo.  haha! Na supposedly, sa girls ko lang dapat kinukwento.  Ewan ko kung naiinis ka na.  Pero kung naiinis ka na, sabihin mo lang.  Hahaha!

‘Di ko na rin maalala ano yung exact date kung kailan kami naging magbest friend.  Ang alam ko lang, after ko nang grumaduate ‘yon.  Feeling ko this April lang ata?  Basta mga gano’n.  Haha!  Biro mo, after 9 years nating magkakilala, saka pa lang kita naging best friend?  Medyo ang slow natin ano. Haha!  Pero masaya rin palang magkaroon ng guy best friend. May instant ka-date kahit na hindi talaga s’ya marunong mag-aya ng date sa’kin, ewan ko lang sa mga girlalu n’ya noon, haha!

So ngayon, nurse na s’ya, at ako, sinisikap na maging arkitekto, at kahit na once in a blue moon na lang s’ya magpa-load, buti na lang, unlicall sa globe yung landline nila, isang text ko lang, tatawag na s’ya.  HAHA! At mabuti na rin lang madalas din s’yang online ngayon, at nakaka-usap ko s’yang madalas.  Though minsan nakakaloka, kasi minsan nakatitig lang ako sa pangalan n’ya sa side bar, ‘di kasi s’ya nag-p-pm.  Tapos ako gusto ko s’yang kausapin, kaso wala akong maisip na topic. hahaha!  Minsan kinakalabasan, puro kalokohan lang napag-uusapan namin, pero masaya.  Nakakatawa pa kasi minsan mag-e-emote ako, maiinis ako kunwari, kaso walang nanunuyo kaloka!  hahaha! e ako naman, alam kong wa epek na, edi kakausapin ko na, tapos wala na, tawanan na lang uli, kaloka.  Masisiraan ako ng bait sa isang ‘to, haha!

Dearest best friend, thank you for everything.  Alam kong tapos na ang birthday mo, at ang korni ng last date natin kasi hindi ako makapagdecide ng pwedeng gawin after kumain, tapos kung kailan na-excite ka na ng husto sa paglalaro sa timezone, saka naman ubos na yung load natin.  Hahaha! Post-birthday gift ko na lang ‘to sa’yo, isang blog entry para sa pinakamamahal kong best friend na may sayad sa utak. hahaha!!! Alam kong dapat busy ka ngayon sa dami ng gastusin mo at dapat gawin in preparation for your career, pero nagagawa mo pa ring makipaglokohan sa’kin, haha! So thank you very much!  ‘Wag ka mag-alala, sa birthday ko, ililibre na talaga kita, haha!  Kasi sa lahat ng dates natin, ikaw lagi nanlilibre, haha!  Good luck sa career mo, God bless!  Balitaan mo ‘ko sa mangyayari sa buhay mo ah!!! Marami akong load pang-text sa globe, text mo lang ako, o kaya pm mo lang ako sa fb.  Haha! o kaya tawagan mo na lang ako, basta wala akong meeting, masasagot kita. Ayan na ah! Ginawan na kita ng blog entry! hahaha!! Hindi naman kita pinagtripan! hahaha! nagkwento lang naman ako :D