Sometimes… It Doesn’t Feel Good at All

Everyone wants to be appreciated.  It’s something not everyone of us can get.  It’s a bonus you receive every time you get to do something good.  Sometimes with just a simple deed, appreciation showers upon you… but not at all times.  ‘Cause there are instances wherein you’ve already done a lot, but nobody can appreciate it.

But what would happen if appreciation is right in front of your gates?  Does it always taste chocolate coated ice cream?  Or does it feel sour… just like how I feel right now?

Acknowledgement is what I have always yearned for.  It was deprived most of the time… sometimes people are just non-verbal about it and I’m so slow to figure it out.  But there are times that I wanted to jump with joy just because I get a little taste of recognition.

So what’s the difference right now?  What is wrong?

So tell me… does it feel good to be given recognition for a brilliant thing you did… while they use you as an example to degrade someone else?  And they do it in front of you.  So now tell me… does it really feel good?  Does it really feel good to be the reason why someone else is scolded because they thought you are better than that person.

Argh… I hate this unnecessary guilt.

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